Audi’s Greener Grass Tour
Ames, Iowa (Where the "Cyclones" have officially reached Category 5 evacuation status)
If you hear a whistling sound coming from central Iowa, it’s not a tornado—it’s just the sound of the entire Iowa State women’s basketball roster hitting the transfer portal at the same time. The latest to pack her bags is the crown jewel of the program, All-American center Audi Crooks, who decided that "taking root in new ground" sounds a lot better than staying in a greenhouse that's currently missing its roof.
The "Wait, Who’s Left?" Exodus
Audi isn’t just a loss; she’s a catastrophe. We’re talking about a woman who averaged 25.8 points last season (second in the nation) while shooting 64.9% from the floor. She dropped 47 points on Indiana like she was playing against a middle school JV squad.
But here’s the kicker: Crooks is the 10th player to enter the portal this spring. At this rate, Coach Bill Fennelly is going to be holding open tryouts at the local YMCA just to find someone to bring the ball up the court. Athletic Director Jamie Pollard released a statement saying Fennelly has "earned the opportunity to finish his career the right way," which is athletic department speak for, "The ship is sinking, but we're letting the captain stay on the deck until the water reaches his chin."
The "Greener Grass" Tour (With New VIP Stops)
Audi’s announcement was poetic, mentioning that she’s watered the grass in Ames but now wants to see if the soil is better elsewhere. Considering the Cyclones started 14-0 and then collapsed like a cheap lawn chair in the first round of the Big Dance, "elsewhere" is looking pretty attractive.
The Potential Suitors (A.K.A. The Audi Sweepstakes):
LSU: After a heartbreaking Sweet 16 loss to Duke, Kim Mulkey is likely prowling the portal like a tiger at a steakhouse. LSU played small-ball this year with a guard-heavy lineup, but with Amiya Joyner out of eligibility, they need a literal mountain in the paint. Imagine Audi in the frontcourt with LSU’s athletic perimeter guards doing the defensive dirty work around her. It’s the kind of superstar move Mulkey lives for.
Notre Dame: The Irish made the Elite Eight on the back of Hannah Hidalgo’s brilliance, but UConn’s Sarah Strong basically treated their interior defense like a "Welcome" mat. Bringing in Audi would give them a post-presence they haven't had in years. An Audi-Hidalgo duo? That’s not just a basketball team; that’s a Pay-Per-View event.
UCLA: Coach Cori Close says she has "no interest in rebuilding" and wants to "reload." Audi would fit perfectly in their slow-paced, post-up system that just lost six WNBA-bound seniors.
Iowa: Imagine the content chaos! Audi staying in-state to play for the rival Hawkeyes would be a Shakespearean drama with more corn. She’d replace Hannah Stuelke and give Iowa a "double big" look that feels very 1974.
Minnesota: The Golden Gophers play at a pace slower than a DMV line, which is exactly where Audi thrives.
The Verdict
Audi Crooks is a walking bucket who makes post play look like an art form. While she might not be a "defensive specialist," any coach with a brain is going to be lining up to offer her an NIL deal that involves high-quality steak and 20 shots a game.
Sanchez’s Bottom Line: Iowa State fans are watching their Final Four dreams walk out the door in a U-Haul. Whether she lands in Baton Rouge, South Bend, or stays in the Midwest, Audi is moving on to bigger things, and Coach Fennelly is left holding a watering can in a yard that’s looking increasingly like a desert.
